Here Comes the Sun
by bassline overdose
Summary: Shirley learns a lot about the secret life her older sister lived from reading her journal. But how will Shirley react when she finds out about her sister's romance with Sodapop Curtis and how she really died? ON HIATUS
1. March 3rd, 1966

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders._

**A/N: **For those of you who are questioning the development of chemotherapy during the '60s, and if I am correct, please know the facts before you review. I personally had no idea that chemo existed in the '60s, but I researched it. I just know that I'd receive reviews about how chemo wouldn't exist in the '60s if I didn't post this author's note.

***

Twenty-three weeks, and Carmella's water broke. The birth was short and anything but sweet, but within five minutes, the first born of their children, Donna Lee Lopez, arrived with a cry that could break glass. Carmella had gasped with relief, sweat dripping down her forehead, and watched as her three pound daughter was rushed off to be taken care of. The survival rate of premature babies in 1950 wasn't very promising, but Donna Lee was persistent, fighting for her own survival.

If only Donna Lee, more commonly called by her father's nickname for her, Sunshine, knew that she'd again be fighting for her life eleven years later, in the year 1961.

"_Your daughter has leukemia, Mrs. Lopez."_

My mother had sobbed, broke down on the tiled floor of the doctor's office. Although she knew deep down inside her heart that Sunshine was a fighter, she was aware of the damage leukemia brought a child, a damage so severe as death.

Sunshine and I were polar opposites. I had always been on the pessimistic side, seeing the glass half empty instead of half full. I mostly kept to myself and enjoyed leisure activities like reading or even cleaning. I studied hard, was always neat as a pin, and I normally could care less about others.

Despite the differences in personality, Sunshine and I looked exactly alike. We both had black spiral curls up to our shoulders, tanned skin, and dark brown eyes. Our parents had come to the United States from Mexico when they were teenagers, meeting in Oklahoma City in high school, before moving to Tulsa. Although the two of us were often made fun of because of our background, Sunshine didn't let the criticism get to her. She always had more confidence than me, which made her seem more beautiful than I, despite the fact that she was overweight, a trait quite rare for a leukemia patient. She called the extra weight "more to love".

Our mother was a fantastic artist. Hand her anything-a paintbrush, a pencil, or a piece of charcoal, and she got right down to it. She brought everything to life, like the flowers on our kitchen table. After Sunshine's death, my mother requested to spend a few hours alone with her first daughter. She came back out with a final sketch of my seventeen year old sister, from Sunshine's head to her toes, her body still in the casket.

I remembered Sunshine's last words, which were directed at me. I remembered the cheerful tone in her high pitched voice; even on her deathbed my older sister was hopeful and happy. She had placed her palm over my cheek, pulling my face down to her ear, so she could whisper, "Don't let 'em steal my best heels."

That was Sunshine for you. You'd think with a heart so massive and a brain so expansive she'd leave me with some inspiring words of wisdom, but no, I instead received a simple memo to save her favorite shoes.

I had grimaced at her, muttering a cuss word below my breath, out of the hearing ranges of my heartbroken parents. Sunshine had heard me damn well though, and she made it a point to stick her tongue out at me, before closing her dark eyes for the last time.

"What a way to leave," I spat bitterly to myself, an unlit cigarette dangling from my lips as I scattered through the mess on our-well it was mine now-bedroom floor.

A black composition notebook with Sunshine spelt out in all capitals on it caught my eye, and I immediately thought back to our visit to the office supply store a year and a half ago.

_School was rounding the corner, and Sunshine wanted to go shopping for supplies. She loved the feeling of writing on crisp, clean paper with a pen at its best. She picked up four notebooks and handed them to my mother, who looked extremely tired for a thirty-five year old._

"_C'mon Sunny, do you really need four of these? You know we're tryin' to cut back on the spending money, sweetheart."_

_Sunshine smiled brightly at my mother, winking at me before sweetly lying. "One for each subject, Mama; History, Arithmetic, English, and Science."_

_My mother exhaled, but nodded at Sunshine's request. I turned away from them, my stomach twisting in knots of disgust. Sunshine's condition practically made my parents fall at her feet. She got everything she wanted when she wanted it, and despite "loving" my parents, she lied, cheated, and stole from them._

Sunshine and I had never been close, but the sister connection still played its part in our relationship. The only friendship we had was constructed from the basic family rules of defending each other and taking the other away from potentially harmful situations.

I flipped open the notebook, to my sister's dedication page.

_Some of the Life of Sunshine Lopez_

_Written by Sunshine Lopez_

_Dedicated to whoever the hell finds this thing after I die, so I'm guessing that's you, Ms. Shirley_

I snickered again; even though we didn't talk to each other much, Sunshine knew me better than anyone and knew that I was nosy.

I turned the next page, leaning against Sunshine's perfectly made bed.

_March 3rd__, 1966_

_Hello there, Diary! I'm Sunshine, your owner. Ha, bet you're feeling a little scared now, huh? A 210 pound girl right in front of you?_

_Anyway, I've only kept one of these things once, when I was eight years old. I told myself I'd write in it every day for the rest of my life, but I stopped after thirteen days. I'm not promising you that I'll stay loyal to you and write it in you once a day because I know myself better than that. I'll just tell you now that I'm not exactly the type of girl to commit to something. I can barely commit to coming home on time._

_Let me set the whole scenario for you. The last time I went in the kitchen to get some food, it was a little past midnight, and I can't remember how long ago that was… The folks are asleep and so is little darling Shirley, who's snoring like a hog._

I couldn't help but laugh at Sunshine's humor.

_I'm too giddy to fall asleep tonight, maybe it's because Mr. Stanley put me next to Sodapop Curtis in History today. He's a real looker, and we've been pretty good friends since the beginning of the year. I've been crushing on him for a long while now, since September. I know his best pal Steve cracks jokes about my weight behind my back, but I could care less about what he has to say; to me it's Soda's opinion that counts, and I never see him laughing about the jokes._

_On a more serious note, Mom had a discussion with one of my doctors today. He recommended chemotherapy, which isn't really out of the ordinary, but this time, my mother actually listened to him. She told me when I got home from school that she was working extra shifts over at the hospital, and that my dad would work more shifts as a substitute teacher at the grade school in the next town._

_I'm not really rooting for the chemo. At this point, my life is take it or leave it. Why would I want to put something away for a little bit of time if it's only going to come back when I least expect and want it? I sure like living, but the truth is, what's worth living for? My folks can't afford to send me to college, and nobody wants to date a girl the size of their parents combined._

_The truth about chemo is that it can make you gain a lot of weight, or lose a lot of weight because you lose your appetite due to the nausea and vomiting. My mom told me today that I should do it for the latter. _

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

_***_

**I promise, there will be more of the gang and less of Shirley in the next chapter. Shirley is not the protagonist in this story, she is just the one reading the diary of Sunshine. Please review!**


	2. March 4th, 5th, and 6th, 1966

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders._

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews! I'm not totally in love with this story yet, so I don't know how it's going to work out, but it's going pretty good so far. Sunshine's a really fun character to write, I can tell already. If any of you are confused with the format of this story, I just wanted to clear it up for you. Shirley is just reading Sunshine's diary, but Sunshine is telling her own story. Sunshine is the main character in the story, not Shirley. As for how the entries go, there may be one long entry per chapter, or many small ones. Just read to figure out whatever questions you may have, because I'm sure they will be answered within the next few chapters.

***

_March 4th, 1966 _

_Dear Diary, _

_Today was boring and uneventful, so basically it was the usual. It was freezing cold outside and on top of that, it was raining cats and dogs. Despite the dreary mood I woke up in due to the weather, my mother decided to make the day even worse, by scheduling an appointment with her best friend Rose, a hairdresser. I'm to get my hair cut up to my ears, so that way my hair will be easier to deal with when it starts falling out from the chemo. _

_Sodapop didn't talk to me today. He didn't even wave or smile, like he usually does. Steve was acting sort of off his rocker too. I wonder if everything's all right back at their houses._

_Love, _

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

***

_March 5th__, 1966_

_Dear Diary,_

_Neither Sodapop or Steve were in school today. Come to think of it, Sodapop hadn't talked to _anyone _in class yesterday, not even Steve. Something is definitely going on, but I just wish I knew what it was. I hope everything is okay with him. _

_So tomorrow is my hair appointment. My mom is picking me up after school, and we're heading over to the salon, which is a few towns over. I cut a curl off my head today, that way I can remember what my hair looked like before it fell out from the chemotherapy. It's totally dragging me down; my hair is my best feature. At least Shirley will still have her hair, when I'm as bald as the nation's eagle. That lucky bitch. _

_Love,_

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

_***_

I smirked at Sunshine. If only she knew then about what would really happen with her hair.

***

_March 6__th__, 1966_

_Dear Diary,_

_So, I guess I've been doing okay with this journal thing-this is my fourth entry so far._

_Soda was absent again today, but Steve was in school. I asked him what was going on, and for once, he didn't laugh at me. He had tears welling up in his eyes, and I tried not to gape at the sight of him crying._

"_Soda's parents," he began, furiously wiping his eyes, afraid of being seen. "They're dead. From a car accident." _

_I felt my heart almost stop in my chest. Sodapop was only sixteen, he couldn't lose his parents! I gulped hard, swallowing the nonexistent saliva in my mouth, and suddenly, my throat got dry, and I felt the need to comfort Steve, who seemed pretty devastated._

_I reached over the gap between our desks, and put my hand on his knee. He only stared at my hand, probably examining my grandmother's wedding ring, which I wore on my right ring finger in memory of her. He didn't shove it away, and he didn't give me a disgusted look either. _

"_I'm sorry," I whispered, and he touched my hand, tangling our fingers together. Tears bubbled in my own eyes in pure sympathy for Sodapop, and fear of losing my parents. I suddenly thought of my family when I died. Would Shirley cry? _

_I took notes for Soda and gathered his homework together. I told Steve I'd do Soda's homework so he didn't have to worry about it, but Steve told me Soda's little brother wanted to do it, because it got his mind off their parents._

_When I walked into the salon today, losing my hair was the least of my worries. I decided I wouldn't dwell on such a silly thing like my hair. I decided I wasn't going to take anything for granted. I decided I'd try and live my life to the fullest, because truth be told, I wasn't sure how long I'd be living for._

_My hair is short now. It's only past my earlobes, but my mother tries explaining the pros of having it short._

"_It'll be so much easier to handle now, Sunny," she told me on the way home from the salon. _

_She thought I was crying about my hair._

"_I know, Mama," I told her, wiping my eyes from the tears like Steve had done as I gazed lazily out the car window, watching the trees sway in the breeze._

_I wish I was a tree. I wish I had it that easy._

_Rest in peace Mr. and Mrs. Curtis._

_Yours truly,_

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

**Read, review, and enjoy! :D**


	3. March 7th, 1966

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders _or the song "You Are My Sunshine".

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews! Fifteen reviews in two chapters? Kinda amazing, guys. Alright, as twisted as this sounds, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. You probably won't understand how… sickening that is until you read the chapter. I hope you all enjoy it! I see great potential from this story.

**Chapter Three: Shirley's Reflections and March 7****th****, 1966**

Sunshine's funeral.

It was the worst day I'd ever experienced in my fourteen years of living. My mother tried to feed me the same "soothing" bullshit too.

"_She's in a better place now, honey," my mother managed between sobs. "She don't have the cancer no more. She ain't suffering no more."_

I had slammed my bedroom door in her face. I didn't care that I was being selfish. I just wanted Sunshine to be here. I didn't _care _if she was sick, I didn't _care _if she was dying in a hospital bed, I just needed her to be _here, _with _me._

Tia had a powerful voice, the kind that stayed with you for a while. She made a living on singing. She entertained the weekend crowds at fancy restaurants and even the sloppiest pubs. Wherever my mother's sister could work, she did. Tia lived in Chicago and went to recording studios as often as she could. She never got signed, but it was only 'cause she was Mexican. I know it for a fact too.

_She was painting my fingernails on the kitchen table when she told me. "Went to another studio the other day, Shirley. They told me I had a beautiful, soulful voice, but said they couldn't sign me. I asked 'em why, and you know what they said? They told me it was because I was _Mexican_."_

I was seven years old at the time. I didn't understand.

Tia sang at Sunshine's funeral. My body sat in the first row, but my soul wasn't there. It was absent that entire week. I couldn't function without my optimistic sister. Sunshine and I may not have been the best of friends, but she was still my other half, still my _sister._

"_The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. _

_I'll always love you and make you happy, if you will only say the same. But if you leave me and love another, you'll regret it all someday. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. You told me once, dear, you really loved me and no one else could come between. But now you've left me and love another; you have shattered all of my dreams._

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me. When I awake my poor heart pains. So when you come back and make me happy, I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."_

Everyone in the church was crying. Some were open about it, like my mother, who sobbed and leaned on my father's shoulder for support. Others, like the ones who barely knew Sunshine, like her teachers and our great-uncles were subtle about it, letting a few tears escape their eyes. I just watched Tia sing that song, and I knew that if Sunshine were looking down on us now, she'd snicker and say, "I ain't worth all that trouble."

That night, my entire family went out to dinner. We went to an American steakhouse, much to the dislike of my extended family, but they didn't complain. They knew my mother would break if they did. I was completely against the idea of going out. My mother told me it was a "celebration of Sunshine's life", but I thought it was just a sad excuse to forget about Sunshine's death.

I had many cousins, all of whom I barely knew, but I sat at the adults' table anyway, just to avoid the commotion that occurred at that stupid children's table. All of the kids younger than eleven years old thought of the dinner as a family reunion, and went on joking and pranking the waiters. The ones above that age had the decency not to fool around, but they stayed silent the entire time anyway, just wanting to go back home.

I was silent at dinner. My parents were talking to the entire extended family, reflecting on all of the cherished memories they shared with Sunshine. When I didn't take part in the discussion, my father, who sat beside me, quietly told me to be friendly.

_I glared at him. "My sister just died. You expect me to be friendly?"_

_My thirty-seven year old father suddenly looked exasperated. "Shirley, please. The least you can do is be polite."_

_I shoved my untouched plate into the middle of the table, knocking down two glasses of water in the process, and stood up in front of the whole table, in front of my entire family, glaring at my father while tears bubbled in my eyes. _

"_Fuck you."_

It was the first time I ever cussed out an adult.

That dinner was only a week ago, although it seemed like years. My father hadn't said anything about the dinner incident. I only talked to him when I had to, like when he asked me what time it was, just so he could hear my voice.

I was stubborn. I acted stubborn to everyone; my classmates, my teachers, my parents, and my best friend-the best I've ever had, Vickie.

Vickie was a lot like me. We both hated everything, we were both, like I said, stubborn, and we were both intelligent. You should've seen the way we went back and forth, tossing witty insults at each other in matters of seconds. My mother called it arguing, but we called it talking. Frankly, our discussions entertained Sunshine. She'd sit there, with us at the kitchen table, doing her homework while listening to our conversations. Her laughter was the best commentary, and she knew better to get her wise mouth thrown in, although she did sometimes.

Vickie understood my situation, somewhat. Her mother had passed away when we were twelve years old. But there's a huge difference between the mother/daughter relationship and the sister/sister relationship.

Here I sat, still leaning against Sunshine's bed. I had gotten lost in that train of thought, but when I came back to reality, I realized I was extremely uncomfortable, so I plopped onto Sunshine's bed, propped one of her pillows against the wall, and continued reading.

***

_March 7__th__, 1966_

_Dear Diary,_

_I wrote Sodapop a letter today. I'm planning on giving in to him when he comes back to school next week. It goes a little something like this:_

Dear Sodapop,

You know how they say things happen for a reason? Well, they don't, so don't listen to that bullshit. Bullshit's bad for your brain.

I'm not going to go on and tell you that I feel your pain, because truth be told, I have no idea what it feels like to lose your parents. I can only guess that it sucks. A lot.

But, I will tell you something not many people know about me. I've got cancer. Leukemia. My mom wants me to do chemotherapy. I'm skeptical about it, but at this point, I'm just trying to let it all play out for me, see where the chemo takes me. This is usually where I'd say something extremely comforting and utterly intelligent, but I got nothing.

Love,

Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine

P.S. I'm always open for a chat and a Coke.

_I miss him already._

_Love,_

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

_***_

**I was trying to put that John Lennon quote, "**_**Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans," **_**but I researched it, and Lennon didn't say it until 1980, in a song called Beautiful (Darling Boy). So, I'm sorry if Sunshine's letter is lacking inspiration. Please read, review, and enjoy! :D**


	4. March 14th, 1966

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders._

**A/N: **I'm in the perfect place to write another chapter of this story, so please be a doll and review, huh? I'm loving all the sweet reviews for this story! Oh and by the way, Shirley isn't in this chapter, but she will be in a big chunk of the next chapter.

**Chapter Four: March 14****th****, 1966**

_March 14__th__ 1966_

_Dear Diary,_

_I know, I know, it's been a week since I've written in here, but give me a break, I've had loads of homework and about four exams this week, and I'm shot. I finally worked up the courage to give Soda that letter two days ago, even though the event didn't go exactly as planned._

"_I got somethin' to give you," I whispered to Sodapop over the gap between our desks. He glanced at me quickly in confusion, but when I revealed the piece of loose-leaf paper from my purse, he nodded and held out his hand. Our palms quickly touched as I handed the letter to him, and I vaguely wondered if he felt the electric surge that ran through my veins at his touch. _

_I watched him read the note and I noticed the surprise on his face when he got to the cancer part. Nobody really knew about my leukemia; it really was none of their business, and I wasn't the kind to go searching for sympathy anyway. But I felt that Soda had a right to know. We had been good friends since the start of the year since we both had so much in common. Steve had been acting a whole lot nicer to me too since I comforted him a while back. _

_Soda scribbled something down on the same piece of paper, and glanced at Mr. Stanley, our strict and obnoxious teacher, before giving the loose-leaf back to me. I took the note back and read his sloppy but still legible handwriting._

Sunshine-

It ain't your fault my folks died. You don't have to be sorry, but thanks anyway. I'm real sorry to hear you got cancer. That's gotta be a real drag, huh? Why didn't you tell me before?

Getting a Coke with you sounds great. Maybe at the Dingo? I don't think Sandy would dig the idea, but we've got our own problems.

-Sodapop Curtis

_Just as I was finished reading it, I heard a throat being cleared._

"_Miss Lopez, would you please give me that note? Is it so important that you have to read it during my class time? Oh, isn't this sweet? It's a note to Mr. Curtis! So class, would you like me to read it aloud?" _

_I mentally groaned at the number of hands that suddenly raised into the stuffy air of the classroom. Mr. Stanley would make himself look like an even bigger asshole when he found out what the note was about. Then he'd see that it wasn't so sweet. _

_Mr. Stanley cleared his throat yet again and began, "Dear Sodapop, you know how they say things happen for a reason? Well, they don't, so don't listen to that bullshit." He stopped abruptly at the sound of a cuss word, and the class giggled. I watched his face with an amused expression written on mine as he silently read the letter to himself, and smiled in satisfaction when he placed the paper on his desk. "Class, why don't we continue reading chapter twenty in our textbook to ourselves?" he suggested, obviously embarrassed. "Donna and Sodapop, may I see you two after class?" _

_I glanced at Soda, who looked furious, and back at Mr. Stanley, who looked both apologetic and annoyed at the same time. "Sure," I answered swiftly, giving Soda a wry smile before pretending to read the material in my textbook._

_The rest of the period passed by quickly, probably since I finally decided to read the chapter and answer the questions. Hey, they say time flies when you're having fun. Not._

_Anyway, once the bell rang, everyone stood up and walked out of the classroom. A couple of students, including Steve, decided to take their time, slowly gathering up their books, trying to eavesdrop in on a bit of the conversation, but they were all screwed, considering Mr. Stanley sat on his desk, arms crossed, waiting for them to leave._

_As the last student, who was of course Steve, closed the door, Mr. Stanley cleared his throat for the third time. "Although I understand that the notes you two were passing seemed important, there is still a strict policy of no note passing in my classroom, so I have no other choice than to give you two detention for today."_

_I groaned loudly, not caring if Mr. Stanley heard, but he continued nonetheless. _

"_Sodapop, I am truly sorry about the loss of your parents, and I understand Donna has gathered your work for you, so I am giving you two weeks to finish all of your incomplete assignments. Understood?" Soda nodded. "And Donna, please watch your language, even if you are just writing it." I nodded, thanking God he was too much of a panty waist to bring up my cancer._

_Soda and I were dismissed from the classroom. People were flooding out of the school, and the two of us were the only ones left in the hallway. He walked by my side, his hands in his pockets. I sighed and he looked at me. _

"_You okay?" he asked. _

_I nodded. "Yeah. Listen… I'm sorry for getting you detention. I didn't mean to or nothin'."_

_Soda grinned. "It ain't no big deal. I don't mind spending time with you, Sunshine."_

_I felt my cheeks blush, but I didn't care if he saw it. It was about time he knew I liked him, and maybe I'd even tell him soon. It wasn't really a big deal, after all, and that promise I made to myself, the one saying I'd live my life to the fullest kicked in. What was I waiting for? If I died today, Soda would never know that I was in love with him. And that's why I decided to do this. _

"_You wanna go grab that Coke after detention?" I questioned, praying to God he would say yes. Today was Tuesday, his day off from his part-time job at the DX gasoline station downtown. _

_I saw him smile. "Sure."_

_The rest of our walk to detention was silent, but I still felt perfectly at ease walking in silence with Sodapop. We approached the classroom and he held the door open for me. The detention supervisor was my ninth grade History teacher. Mrs. Locket greeted me with a friendly smile and a simple "Hello Sunshine", despite the fact that I was in trouble. Soda sat down next to his buddy Two-Bit Mathews, who was a regular in detention, and I plopped down next to Sodapop._

_Soda always told me that I'd have a lot in common with Two-Bit. He said we were both funny and we were constantly happy. I had told Soda that he was always happy too, and as if to top it off, he grinned._

_Detention went by slowly, and I was faintly aware of the clock ticking as I watched Soda play with his thumbs on the desk. Normally I would've walked right out of the room, not caring what the supervisor had to say, but I decided to stay because of Soda. _

_After the hour passed, we were allowed permission to leave. The three of us stood up and walked out together, ignoring the other people who were yelling and screaming as they ran out to the parking lot. _

"_So what are you two gonna go do now?" Two-Bit inquired as he lit up a cigarette and took a drag. _

"_We were headin' over to the Dingo," Soda explained, and I was thrilled that he didn't invite Two-Bit. It wasn't like I didn't like Two-Bit, who could really hate him? But I just wanted it to be me and Soda together._

_Two-Bit nodded and offered me a cigarette as he told us that he was going to his girlfriend's house anyway. Kathy and I had been good friends in grade school; she was a doll, and totally down-to-earth. Kathy wasn't a slut and she didn't wear too much eye makeup, she barely ever cussed, and when she did, it was usually at Two-Bit. And as much as I hated to admit it, Soda's girl, Sandy, wasn't a slut either, so I couldn't really bash on her. She treated Sodapop well, and she was pretty friendly to me too. _

_There was bits of mindless conversation as we walked to Kathy's house, but it wasn't until we dropped Two-Bit off that Soda and I really started talking._

"_So, why didn't you?" he asked._

_We made eye contact. I was really confused. "Why didn't I what?"_

"_Tell me you had cancer," he replied._

_I hesitated. Should I really tell him why I didn't tell him earlier? I felt his eyes on me as I walked, my own brown eyes aimed at the street. _

"_It's okay; you don't have to tell me if ya don't wanna."_

"_I didn't tell anyone in school… not no one, until you. Truth is, I ain't really comfortable with everyone knowing. I don't want anyone's sympathy, and I don't want anyone treating me any different just 'cause they know I'm sick, y__'know__?"_

"_That's how I feel 'bout my folks," he muttered, kicking a pebble as we walked on the asphalt._

"_It really sucks," I whispered._

_He exhaled, a puff of air coming from his mouth in the cold weather. "Yeah," he agreed._

_The Dingo was emptying out; most people came right after school and then left after a half hour, so we were able to find an empty, clean booth right in the corner by the window. _

_A thin girl who looked like she was on stilts sauntered over to us and flipped open her notepad. "I'm Linda, what do you want?" She was friendly. _

_Soda flashed me a smile, sensing the same tone in her voice that I heard, and glanced at her, still grinning. "I'll have a burger and fries. Oh, and a Coke too. It is what we came here for," he said and his beam widened._

_Linda turned to me, wearing the same expression she wore when speaking to Soda. She obviously wasn't fazed by Soda's beautiful looks, something quite rare for a girl. "And for you?"_

"_I'll have the same as him."_

_Soda and I talked about school and family for a while. I told him about Shirley, and he told me about his brothers. When our food came, we ate in a comfortable silence, until he brought up a subject that was last on my list._

"_So… do you have a boyfriend?" he implored, throwing a French fry into his mouth. _

_I raised my eyebrows and almost spit out the Coke in my mouth before swallowing in one big gulp. I cleared my throat like Mr. Stanley. "No."_

_Soda grinned. "I find that hard to believe. You're just so… likeable." _

_I felt that stupid blush creep back onto my face, and this time, he noticed it, because he smiled and blushed too. _

"_Sunshine," he began, but I put my hand up to stop him. _

"_You don't have to, Soda," I told him, pushing my plate away to let him know I was finished with my food. _

_He paid for both of our meals, which were half eaten, and we walked out of the restaurant. But this time, the silence was totally uncomfortable._

_We passed a few little girls playing Hopscotch on the sidewalk, and a man walking his German Shepherd. I sighed and stuck my hands into my pockets. I was freezing cold._

"_Sunshine," he repeated, and he stopped walking. _

"_What?" I replied, leaning in closer to him on instinct. _

_He swallowed, and his face lowered down to mine. "I ain't gonna treat you any different," he murmured, centimeters away from my lips._

_And before I could answer, his lips came crashing down on mine. The kiss was short and sweet, and he had pulled away before anything got too intense. _

_I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. "Me neither."_

**Read, review, and enjoy! :D**


	5. March 15th, 1966

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders._

**A/N: **Sorry for the _incredibly _long wait; I had so much to do and to be completely honest, I wasn't feeling motivated to write this chapter. But now it's a Friday night, I've been out, and I'm feeling pretty good, so here I am. Thank you for the amazing reviews and please keep them coming! Also, if it isn't too much of a bother, please check out my other story "A Little Less Than Sixteen Candles."

Also, I redid my pen name, just because I was getting sick and tired of the older one. I'll now be signing reviews, review replies, and private messages as "aae." Sorry if any confusion was caused by this change.

Please read, review, and enjoy! Virtual hugs and kisses for all of you that do.

**Chapter Five: March 15****th****, 1966**

So, Sunshine _had _had her first kiss, and she failed to tell me about it? I know I mentioned that we weren't very close to begin with, but a first kiss is a _big _deal. I mean, I told Sunshine and my mom about my first kiss with James Logan a few years ago, so why wouldn't Sunshine tell me about hers?

Did she just assume that I'd think she already had it? Or was she just ashamed that her younger sister had her first kiss before her? I'd be pretty embarrassed if that happened, too. Who really wants to have a kid three years younger than them getting all the fun stuff first? I wouldn't.

I flipped the diary shut, angry with Sunshine, and stomped out of the bedroom to the kitchen. My mother was on the telephone with someone, leaning against the counter, her butt planted on the floor. She was grinning, which was rare these days.

I grabbed the carton of milk from the icebox and poured myself a glass full, taking my sweet time to listen in on my mother's phone conversation. I could hear the voice on the other end, a male's by the way his voice buzzed. My mother just sat there nodding, smiling, silently agreeing with whatever the hell he was saying.

"Yes, yes, she was. Sunshine was a _very _bright girl. She had some future ahead of her."

Well, it obviously wasn't family. My mother wouldn't struggle to speak English if she was on the phone with a Mexican. What was the point?

Sitting down at the kitchen table, I cautiously eyed my black-haired mother. I could feel my eyes squinting as I tried to contemplate the conversation or at least read her expression, but she just looked… _happy. _Happy! And this wasn't the kind of "I enjoy recalling memories of my dead daughter" happy, this was the "I am genuinely happy, although leukemia just killed my oldest kid" happy.

"Alright, Sodapop. I tell you what, you ever need anything, you come to my house."

Milk flew from my mouth across the table.

_Sodapop? _As in _Sunshine's _Sodapop?

No! It couldn't be.

But really, how many Sodapops were out there?

She placed the phone back on the wall receiver and shook her head, still grinning.

"Mama, who was that?" I questioned, caution in my voice, as if she'd tell me something different than Sodapop.

She shook her head again. "Ah, justo algún chico Sunshine iba con."

"English, Mama," I said, reminding her that I wasn't completely fluent yet.

"Just some boy Sunshine used to go with," she explained.

Just some boy. Sunshine didn't describe him as _just some boy._

"That's nice," I murmured, leaving the room.

***

_March 15__th__, 1966_

_Dear Diary,_

_There may be a first time for everything, but they say nothing is like your first kiss. So, instead of feeling giddy and joyful that I just kissed the boy of my dreams, why am I feeling like a dirty slut?_

_Oh, well maybe it's because he has a girlfriend!_

_Don't get me wrong; I knew that Soda and Sandy were going out, but I didn't know that he'd go back to her after kissing me. I didn't know that she would skip up to him in the hallway and he'd give her a kiss. And I certainly didn't know that the wonderful taste in his mouth came from Sandy's bubblegum. _

_Gross._

_So, you can say I'm feeling bad. As a matter of fact, you can say I'm feeling like shit. And trust me, the feeling's not from the fucking cancer in my body._

_Fuck Sodapop Curtis. _

_Yours __not_ _truly,_

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

***

Someone was having a bad day…

***

**Sorry it was so short; I just wanted to get a chapter up!**


	6. March 20th, 1966

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders._

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait; I've been really busy! The tense is changed from past tense to present tense in this chapter.

**Chapter Six: March 20th, 1966**

I decided that moving on from something tragic was definitely difficult. But when there's this constant reminder everywhere I go, how can I actually move on?

It's one of those gorgeous September days. The kind when kids skip off their porches and run to play kickball in the yard. The kind when the chirp of birds never ends. The kind when neighbors talk cheerfully with each other while watching their little precious children fool around.

The kind when it's sunny.

Sunlight shines in my dark eyes, and instinctively I hold up my hand to shield the brightness. Sunshine loved this weather; it really was no surprise, but ever since her death, I can't stand it. She's everywhere I go. She's everything I see. No matter how hard I try, no matter how many blankets I pile up above me to conceal the light, she's still there. Is it supposed to mean anything? Is it supposed to signal Sunshine's presence? But what does this have to do with me? I mean, I was not exactly the most influential person in Sunshine's life. If we're talking who she was closest with, shouldn't it be my mom or Soda or something?

But then I remember. I remember that life's not a fairytale, and that things could have gone perfectly wrong with Sunshine and Sodapop.

That's why I turn around. I turn from the sight I had my eyes plastered on-the place I wanted to be. Three boys sitting on the sidewalk, tossing around a worn football. The number on the house matched the address in the address book. The opportunity was perfect. Just a few steps away, and I could _meet _him. I could meet the boy who changed my sister's life.

It takes all my will power, and my heart is hurting because I couldn't do it, but I walk. I walk because this is Sunshine's story, and I am just the lonely sister. I walk because I am not in this chapter of Sunshine's ended life. I walk because I shouldn't be there. I walk because I realize.

I realize it's not all about me.

***

My father is comfortable on his recliner when I slam the storm door shut. The television is off, his newspaper perched on the wood coffee table, and the phone is on the receiver. He sits alone with nothing to occupy himself, and he stares blankly at me.

"Mama's painting," he murmurs, and he knows how strange this is. Mama hasn't painted since two months ago, when Sunshine was hospitalized for the last time.

_It's a miracle, _I think, but I clamp my mouth shut, 'cause I'm stubborn and still angry with my father. I nod quickly and scurry from the living room, but it isn't long until I can hear my name being called.

Sighing, I trudge back to my father. "What?" My voice is cutting, and it frightens me that I am so cold-hearted to my father when he just lost a daughter. It also frightens me that I don't care.

"What time is it?" he questions.

I swallow. "It's almost dinnertime."

Before I leave again, I glance at his wristwatch, then up at his face. Tears streak the unshaven plane of his face, but my heart does not sink.

***

_March 20__th__, 1966_

_Dear Diary,_

"_It was only a kiss," Steve told me as I scooped up macaroni and cheese, plopping it down on my Styrofoam tray. It was one of those few days the greasers stayed in the cafeteria, probably 'cause the weather was so crappy, but I really wish they didn't._

_I shake my head as I hand the disheveled lunch lady my money. "Only a kiss," I repeat with a snicker._

_Steve rolled his eyes. "Soda ain't no Prince Charmin', Sunshine. All you girls seem to think he's perfect or somethin', and he ain't."_

"_I know Soda ain't perfect," I reply matter-of-factly, and I can hear my own accent._

_Before I walked the opposite way, Steve grabbed my arm. _

"_So stop treatin' 'im like he is."_

_Do I?_

_Love,_

_Donna Lee Lopez, AKA Sunshine_

_***_

**Sorry it's so short. Please read, review, and enjoy! :D**


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTE

I know it is against the rules of FanFiction to post an author's note as an individual chapter, but here I am.

Lately I have been driving myself crazy, and I am not even exaggerating. Between juggling insane amounts of schoolwork, playing forward on a travel soccer team, keeping up with my friends and boyfriend, babysitting and doing chores for extra cash, and just hanging around family and remaining sane has been a struggle for me. Pile on keeping up with three multi-chapter stories and you have one stressed out to-the-max teenager.

Which is why I am putting this story on an indefinite hiatus. I am leaving the story posted but I will probably not update until late June, when school ends. By doing this I will give myself more time to write and I will be able to update at least once a week.

I sincerely apologize to all of you who have stuck with me through this story by reading, and I especially want to thank the fantastic reviewers:

_TwoBitObsessed, Maddie-Cakes, The Nightime Sky, Friday913, nerdpower122890, writersblock242, JoeMyGod, pretentious kneecap _(big thanks to you for reviewing every chapter!), _Irindiglo, xxDevil- Childxx, kelly the fanfiction addict, youngandtherestless_ (_infinite grey_), _JustAnotherLetdown, miiley_, and all anonymous reviewers.

I am so very sorry about putting this story on such a long hiatus. The support I received was incredible, and I am still so in love with Sunshine and Shirley and the plot itself that I feel terrible letting them go. I ask that you leave this story on your Alert list so that you can all read it once it is updated in another two months or so. I especially apologize to readers of both "A Little Less Than Sixteen Candles" and this story because both stories are being put on hiatus.

However, "The Tulsa Troop" is continuing, and I will be publishing some new stories, like "Feels Like the First Time" and "The Cousinly Type." If you are interested, please visit my profile under upcoming stories. Again, I really feel bad leaving this one, but I need some time to get back on track with everything and write what I want. I do not write to keep an update in readers' inboxes, I write for me.

With love,

Alexa, AKA chris's corona and lime

:D


End file.
